Just Words

This blog is experiencing a murmur. That is, the pace it normally keeps is being interrupted and beats in its rhythm are being occasionally omitted. There is no need for concern. Although heart murmurs are uncommon and occasionally life threatening, blog murmurs are much more common and much less hazardous to one's health. The continuous nature of a heartbeat is such an excellent metaphor for so many things that we often forget that many of those things are not nearly as important as an actual heartbeat. The lack of continuous rhythm in this world is not necessarily indicative of impending demise. In fact, blog murmuring may be an indication of a series of real life events taking precedence over events of the virtual world. Most of us, after all, are using our blogs to replace or extend our actual lives so why is it a big deal when our real life fulfillment supersedes the need for a virtual connection?

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Tonight I'm going kayaking and then out for drinks afterwards with the new boss. Much has changed here at the lab in the past two weeks. Most notably, the "new guy" that I trained in SAR testing is now the project manager for our ISO certification. When I first heard the news I felt a little left out of the loop because, technically, I was passed up for promotion. But within moments I realized that it left me exactly where I want to be (in the lab) with sole dominion over the technology that has been my brain-baby for the past two years.

Now we're busy moving office furniture because the new boss wants to make sure that people notice the difference between the old regime and his reign. It's kind of like the way the names of streets in Soviet Russia would change once a new ruler came to power. Tonight will be an important event. Namely, it is an out-of-office opportunity to get a clear view of my direction in the company without anyone else around. This kind of thing is crucial for the movement of ideas without office politics interfering. Should be a good time.

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I saw some completely ridiculous things on TV last night. Apparently they have too much airtime to fill up and not enough qualified people or things to talk about. On CNN, there was a story about Christian groups who are outraged about the upcoming movie of The DaVinci Code. Their beef is that the book portrays Christianity in a bad light and that some people might take this work of fiction for historical fact. First of all, Christianity is not threatened by some work of fiction no matter how many copies have been sold so far. They're going to make a movie? And you say that Ron Howard is directing it while Tom Hanks has the starring role? Please. If Christianity has survived the likes of Galileo, Luther and Darwin then it can weather the mini-storm that this silly little movie will create. And that's all it is, folks. A silly little movie. With silly little people doing silly little things that won't have any measurable impact on the product of faith. And if there is such a religion that can't withstand the likes of a few Hollywood personalities then I don't want any part of it.

Secondly, on the same topic, these Christians on CNN were worried about the story that this book tells being mistaken for historical fact. This seems incredibly odd given the stance that certain other Christians have made on the subject of Evolution. It seems to me that the Bible (a collection of stories that have been quite thoroughly examined and found mostly to be historically implausible) seems to be mistaken for fact all the time. Maybe trying to shape the past into what we want it to be isn't the point?

Next up is MuchMoreMusic, a Canadian music video channel that was developed during a time when they had stopped showing actual videos on the mainstream music video channel MuchMusic. Apparently, it's now MuchMoreMusic that doesn't play videos these days as all they seem to do is talk. And last night they were talking about Eminem's Great TV Moments. Somehow the duet with Elton John at the Grammy's didn't fit into the one hour they had alotted, but the MTV performance of "Sing For The Moment" did. Background for those that don't know, Sing For The Moment was a song that used the music and chorus of Aerosmith's "Dream On" as a backbone. I quite like the song but I think the opinions of the people on MMM are crap. It was their concensus that Aerosmith should be thankful to Eminem for including their former hit as a sample. Yeah, right. They had to give their permission for Eminem to use their song. Aerosmith doesn't need to thank Eminem. Eminem needs to thank Aerosmith. Aerosmith has been making hits since before Eminem was born and they're still going, they don't owe anybody shit. That's like saying that Led Zeppelin should be thankful that Puff Daddy (or whatever he's called now) was thoughtful enough to include a sample of Kashmir as one of his songs. I don't think so. Where is Puff Daddy's hit song now? Does anybody still include it on their playlists? Show of hands, don't be shy...

Third, there's this teenaged girl that's gone missing in Aruba. There's been a lot of speculation about who could have done it. They've held a few kids in custody and interrogated them repeatedly to no avail. Basically accomplishing nothing, much like many criminal investigations that the US media giants stick their ugly craws into. Apparently, an arm washed ashore yesterday and they're going to test it to see if it belongs to this missing girl. First of all, if this were done by these three yahoos that are being held in custody it was probably an accident, not a professional hit with no trace of anything left behind. Amateurs make mistakes, even ones who religiously watch CSI. Now, if this arm washes ashore then the body must have been dumped at sea, maybe even chopped up. Not really something a few guys might do on a spur of the moment. Maybe there's a more sinister criminal element at work here that's being totally ignored? I could believe it if they had done something like this before. Had some practice. Have there been many other missing people in Aruba lately? Would anyone notice or care if it wasn't a rich person's kid? Would anyone care if it wasn't an American? And another thing, what if the arm doesn't belong to this girl? I mean, how often do human arms randomly wash ashore in Aruba? Would anyone have noticed or even cared if they hadn't been looking for this girl? It sure is a strange world we live in.

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I've been ignoring the blogosphere for the past few days. I've had many thoughts but most of them have been incomplete and/or incoherent. But mostly it's just that I've been holed up in my room playing World of Warcraft. It's not that the game is all-consuming, it's that I have an all-out, drag-me-away-kicking-and-screaming sort of personality. It's the reason I don't do drugs. They would consume my life with a passion to reach each new high. Alcohol almost did that to me. It's not even clear to me how and when I realized that I should pull away from that. It just slowly faded as a serious form of entertainment. Many alcoholics talk about a "moment of clarity". But I'm not sure I ever had one. It's still fun to get drunk. It's just not as fun to do it all the time like it used to be.

And the same thing happens with me when I interact with people. I'm a very social person. I meet people and they seem very interesting to me and I want to know everything about them. But I hate people who talk behind people's backs and all the negative, backtalking bullshit that goes on when you start listening to what other people think of each other, so I go out of my way to talk to the people I want to know. To have everything I know about them be based on what they've told me and what I think of that. I often refuse to take people's words and opinions about other people seriously. I want to judge everyone who interacts with me on that basis alone. It seems really good, right? But like everything, there's a downside.

It means that I'm very demanding in my communications with people. I often don't have time to sit around and shoot the shit. I want to get right down to brass tacks right from the getgo. I want to find out what makes a person tick and if they're standoffish I'll either ignore them because they don't seem interesting or I poke at them until I get a reaction. And when people let me in partway and then decide that they haven't known me long enough to tell me anything else, it frustrates and hurts me. Sometimes I clutch at people frantically for them to finish their thoughts and speak their minds. But most people feel that they're going to look stupid if they open their mouths so they tend to stay quiet about things that matter. They don't want to be wrong, but they especially don't want to be wrong about things that matter. They don't want outsiders to touch their beliefs and mess with whatever illusions they've built to protect themselves. Part of the blame here sits with people with have ignorantly tried to judge them on their views rather than simply learning about them. And really, everyone is guilty of this to some extent.

That's why I've grown to let people go when it looks like they want to leave. I don't chase people's attention as much as I used to. Instead, I let them go about their business. But when it comes to women, this has disserved me terribly. It turns out that some women ("some" is a conservative estimate, there is considerable evidence to support "most" here) want to be chased. They want men to do stupid, revealing, and foolishly pointless things to get their attention. They want someone to poke at them to make them tick. They want men to take an all-consuming interest. To these women, I'd just like to say, be careful what you do. You create monsters in this fashion. Aside from the show-offs, braggarts and perverts that come out of the woodwork, once you create a system that a man can use to impress and subdue you, and then teach him how it works, he will then use that system to also impress and subdue other women. Let your love be about the things you want from life, not about some stereotype of what society tells you to want from life.

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Two weeks ago everyone at my workplace was informed that the ownership of the company may be changing hands. Since then we've had people coming in on a regular basis asking questions about the equipment. I've been on afternoon shift so I've missed most of the hubbub. The decision finally came in today and, sure enough, we're getting a new boss. And saying goodbye to an old one. Bernie has been one of the best bosses I've ever had so the new guy has big shoes to fill. The rumour mill says that there won't be any personal changes but who really knows. We have a meeting with the new guy first thing tomorrow morning.

An another front, I just finished reading an excellent book. Another one by Frank Herbert called "The Jesus Incident". It's about an articially intelligent spaceship (aptly named 'Ship') with immense godlike powers. The human occupants of the ship are encouraged the worship Ship as a god. Or at least that's what it seems like. This microcosm is an excellent view of human theology. The ever-tangible nature of Ship causes the characters to ask many of the same questions most people ask themselves about God. "Why doesn't He talk to me or give me some kind of sign?" As usual, it raises more questions than it answers and for this reason I encourage everyone to read everything Frank Herbert ever wrote. Usually I give an excerpt from the book after I've read something. Today, I'm including two because I can't choose between them.

Excerpt #1:

When humans act as spokesmen for the gods, mortality becomes more important than morality. Martyrdom corrects this discrepancy but only for a brief interval. The sorry thing about martyrs is that they are not around to explain what it all meant. Nor do they stay to see the terrible consequences of martyrdom.

Excerpt #2:

Is this what I was supposed to show them? she demanded.
Show them, Ekel!
Still angry, she played the images of the crucifixion, then: "Ship! Is that how it was with Yaisuah? Was he just another filament from one of your dreams?"
Does it matter, Ekel? Is the lesson diminished because the history that moves you is fiction? The incident which you just shared is too important to be debated on the level of fact or fancy. Yaisuah lived. He was an ultimate essence of goodness. How could you learn such an essence without experiencing its opposite?

Keep your stick on the ice.

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Tuesday Afternoon

Small-Outlet, No-Stock-In-House Computer Store Owner: Can I help you with anything?
Me: Yeah, I'd like to get this 100 GB Maxtor hard drive and a 512 MB RAM chip.
Small-Outlet, No-Stock-In-House Computer Store Owner: Sure, that'll be... $193.65 with tax.
Me: Here's my bank card. I don't suppose you have anything in stock, do you?
Small-Outlet, No-Stock-In-House Computer Store Owner: Sorry, we don't keep stock here. But if we order it now then it'll be in tomorrow afternoon or Thursday morning at the latest. Here's your card back.
Me: Okay, thanks a lot.

Wednesday

No activity.

Thursday Morning, approx 11 AM

Me (walking into the store): Hey.
Slightly Elusive Computer Store Owner: Hey... you're... looking for...
Me: A hard drive and a RAM chip.
Slightly Elusive Computer Store Owner: Right. That is here, as in, in town. But it hasn't arrived here, as in, at the store yet.
Me: Right. So it'll be here later today?
Slightly Elusive Computer Store Owner: Yes. Here's my cell number, call me a little later this afternoon.

Thursday Afternoon, approx 3 PM

Me (calling): Hello. My name is Spencer Watson, I ordered a hard drive and a RAM chip?
Obviously-Stalling Computer Store Owner: Yes. The delivery van broke down and we won't get it today.
Me: Okay... so... tomorrow then?
Obviously-Stalling Computer Store Owner: Should be first thing tomorrow morning, yup.

Friday Morning, approx 10:30 AM

Me (calling): Hello. This is Spencer Watson, I ordered a hard drive and a RAM chip and I was wondering if they've shown up yet?
Only-Slightly-Despicable Computer Store Owner: Well, the delivery van has been fixed now so I'm expecting them anytime.
Me: Right. I'll check again later.

Friday Afternoon, approx 3 PM

Me (calling): Hello. This is Spencer again. Any word on that hard drive?
Looking-Like-A-Sure-Target-For-Buggery Computer Store Owner: Yes. It's been dropped off at the depot and I have to go pick it up. I should get it about 5 PM.
Me: Great. If I could pick that up tonight before you close it would help me a lot.
Looking-Like-A-Sure-Target-For-Buggery Computer Store Owner: Sure. I'll keep the place open for you.

Friday Afternoon, 5 PM, 5:10 PM, 5:25 PM and 6:00 PM

No answer on his cell phone.

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AAAAAAAAAAARRGH! That's it! I'm going to Future Shop! That's all there is to it! I've tried to give the little guy a shot but all I got was jerked around. It makes me want to break stuff! I've had nothing to do all week. I actually went clothes shopping on Wednesday! All by myself! And I took my time picking stuff out! What kind of madness is this?! Soon I'll be alone in my room drinking bourbon straight from the bottle while watching edited versions of movies on TBS. GAAAAAAAAA!

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I've just been surfing Wikipedia and I've come across the article about the Central Park Jogger. For anyone not familiar with the story (or are too lazy to move the mouse cursor over to the link to read about it), the Central Park Jogger was a woman who was raped and beaten while jogging in Central Park... at night. Now, when I read this my first reaction was to ask, "Why was she jogging through Central Park at night?!" Her actions seemed a little ridiculous and were not advisable. But that does not in any way excuse the actions of her assailant.

This reminds me of a fairly contentious argument I was involved in last year. Someone mentioned that it was a shame that some people insisted on blaming the victim and someone else attempted to narrow the definition of "victim" as it applied to that particular case. Let's make one thing particularly clear. No matter what kind of negligent, inadvisable or blatantly naive actions a person (or group of people) makes, the actions that a second person (or group of people) make to take advantage of the situation are still inexcusable.

For example, someone I know once left some CD's in his car overnight with the door unlocked. Some thieves found the unlocked door and took his CD's. While it is true that he could have significantly hindered (or possibly altogether stopped) this from happening, it was still a crime. Theft is a crime no matter how easy it was to commit.

For example, on September 11th, 2001 the most notorious act of terrorism was committed by Muslim extremists against the United States. It is true that this terrible tragedy may have been prevented had airport security been more strict. However, this does not excuse the actions of the Al-Qaeda cell that carried out this attack. Terrorism is still a crime no matter how easy it was to commit.

For example, an elderly widow who neglects to lock her back door and is subsequently home-invaded by a group of thugs has acted with naivity. But it does not mean that her assailants are not low criminals who should be punished severely. Home invasion is still a crime no matter how easy it was to commit.

There's a reason why crimes are defined as the actions of the perpetrators. It takes a conscious decision to commit a crime. Simply leaving your doors unlocked, your passengers unfrisked or your minivans running on the street is not a crime. They're all not good ideas, but they're not crimes. The conscious decision of a second person to take advantage of these perceived weaknesses is what constitutes criminal behaviour. It's not the Central Park Jogger's fault that she was raped. It's the fault of the sick fuck who raped her.

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Retrograde is a word that refers to something moving backwards. When speaking of planetary motion it refers to the illusion that a planet is moving backwards through the zodiac when it usually moves forward. I feel it is important to mention that this is only an illusion and that planets don't really move backward or temporarily change direction. This illusion is the product of several complex planetary motions going on at once. The Earth is moving around the sun at a different rate of speed than the other planets and as we stand on this planet and watch another move over its apparent apogee (the planet is moving more or less directly towards or away from us) it appears to be changing direction and moving backward.

Due to its relatively short rotational period, no planet is in retrograde more often than Mercury. In astrology, Mercury is the planet that represents ingenuity and communication. In astrological terms, a planet that moves backward through the zodiac is said to be exerting its influence in opposition to its usual former influence. Mercury in retrograde is rumoured to affect all forms of technological innovation, particularly anything that is used for communication. And by "affect" I really mean "fuck with". This means TV's, radios, email, computers, cell phones, Blackberry's and Palmpilots are all at risk. Mercury is the ruling planet of both Gemini and Virgo and Mercury Retrograde is said to most heavily affect everyone who has these signs prominent in their horoscope. Welcome to my world. Sun in Gemini and Moon in Virgo.

Yesterday (shortly after I posted here) my computer packed it in. I'm pretty sure it's the hard drive and I've ordered a new one. And, of course, the new drive was supposed to be in this afternoon but now it won't be in until tomorrow so I've lost another whole day. Maybe it's a coincidence that this is the exact middle of Mercury Retrograde when this has happened and maybe there's nothing to astrology whatsoever and we only see what we want to see in it. But then, can't the same be said of nearly every other belief system?

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Went camping this weekend with Thomson and his brother Chris. We were only gone for one night but it seemed longer than that. Here's the short version: Random fireworks. Beer. Sleeping on a hammock under the open sky. Cooking meals on an open fire. Hiking up a mountainside. Witnessing a breathtaking vista. Picking up a soft ice cream cone on the way home.

It seems strange to me when I have a time gap on my blog of several days. The thoughts in my head never stop. It's just a matter of getting them typed out in coherent sentences and posted. It all come down to priorities. And right now the priority is getting a 14 Troll Mage to level 20 ASAP. Until next time the thoughts in my head cannot be contained.

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