Just Words

Okay, this list came from Jessica. It used to be longer but I pared it down to things I thought would be more informative as opposed to merely somewhat interesting or outright boring. I also added a few options of my own. The idea is that you copy the list to your own blog, remove my comments and replace my checkmarks with your own answers. Participation is optional.

Have you ever: (check all that apply)

(X) smoked a cigarette? (One drag... One time... Never, ever again...)
( ) smoked a cigar?
( ) smoked anything else?
( ) made out with a member of the same sex?
( ) crashed a friend's car?
(X) been in love?
(X) been dumped?
( ) shoplifted?
( ) been fired?
(X) been in a fist fight?
(X) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? (Only, like, every second day...)
( ) been arrested?
(X) made out with a stranger?
(X) gone on a blind date? (Big mistake, never going again)
(X) lied to a friend?
( ) had a crush on a teacher?
(X) skipped school?
( ) slept with a co-worker?
( ) saw someone die (not on TV)?
(X) drank till you puked?
(X) been in an abusive relationship? (Emotionally abusive...)
(X) been attracted to someone that your friends thought was unattractive?
(X) cheated while playing a game? (Someday I'll win at solitaire for real)
(X) been lonely? (On the days when I'm not having feelings for someone who's not having them back...)
( ) used a fake ID?
(X) had deja vu? (I'm having it right now)
(X) felt an earthquake? (Victoria, 2001)
(X) been robbed? (Lots of times)
(X) robbed someone? (not my proudest moment)
(X) been suspended from school?
(X) been in a car accident?
(X) witnessed a crime?
(X) had deja vu? (I'm having it right now)
( ) questioned your heart?
(X) been lost? (I've been lost since puberty)
( ) been to the opposite side of the country? (Someday...)
(X) swam in the ocean?
( ) cried yourself to sleep?
( ) sung karaoke? (I can never seem to drink enough in one of those places to get the nerve)
(X) not had enough money for food?
(X) paid for a meal with only coins? (Try paying the pizza guy with rolls of dimes and nickels and see what kinds of looks you get)
(X) made prank phone calls? (Look for someone in the phone book with your name. Call them from a payphone claiming that you just got into town, you've "got the stuff" and you need directions to their house. When they claim to not know what you're talking about say, "Oh I get it. This line is tapped. Riiiiiight..." Each time a friend of yours visits from out of town, get them to do the same thing.)
(X) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose?
(X) kissed in the rain?
(X) crashed a party?
( ) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people?
( ) had a wish come true?
(X) told a complete stranger you loved them? (But I was drunk... and lying)
(X) had sex in a park?
( ) had a dream that you married someone? (Almost. I woke up in time)
(X) worn the opposite sex's clothes? (Halloween can be a crazy, crazy time...)
( ) ever felt the presence of a ghost? (I think ghosts hate me)
(X) worn a really ugly outfit to school? (Damn you, lime green neon sweatshirt! I'll get you for this! If not in this life then the next!)
( ) gone streaking?
( ) been pushed into a pool/lake with all of your clothes on?
( ) pushed someone into a pool/lake with all of their clothes on?
(X) been told you were hot by a complete stranger? (When I was dressed as a woman on Halloween)
( ) broken a bone? (nose doesn't count)
(X) caught a fish then ate it?
( ) made porn?
(X) laughed so hard you cried?
( ) cried so hard you laughed?
(X) mooned/flashed someone?
(X) cheated on a test? (To be fair, it was a french test)
(X) gone skinny dipping?
( ) been kicked out of your house?
(X) cheated on a girlfriend?
(X) had casual sex with a close friend?
(X) had sex with someone and later were ashamed to admit it?
(X) felt crushing defeat?
(X) felt thrilling victory?

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I want to announce that I have just finished watching the Revenge of the Sith. But I'm too upset to talk about it right now. Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic. Burger King is neither a burger nor a king. Discuss.

If anyone needs me I'll be washing myself in bourbon and ginger ale.

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I would like to address one particular piece of Christian doctrine that has come up over and over again in the aforementioned controversy about Evolution versus Intelligent Design. The Bible states clearly that "God made Man in His own image." I have always considered this to be possibly the vanest and most arrogant statement ever to be uttered. Rivalled only by several statements made by Gene Simmons. I think, to claim that this is necessarily a judgement on how mankind should look is a shallow, antiquated state of mind that everyone would be better off without. I think religion in general, particularly Christianity, would be better served by dealing solely with the spiritual side of not only this particular issue but also every issue.

Think about this, if God made Man in His own physical image then this must necessarily mean one of two things (if I've left out an option, please suggest it):

a) Man was made in this current physical form and has never looked any different which would mean that Man has never evolved physically.

b) It was God's intention that Man eventually end up having God's physical image and therefore the gradual progression of the human form has been deliberately and painstakingly guided by God Himself and cannot have been left to random chance as Evolutionary Theory proposes.

Looking at it this way I can see why this appears to be such a problem for Christians in general. Clearly, to allow the idea that the process happened by chance is the worst sort of heresy.

But why does this whole "God made Man in His own image" thing have to necessarily refer to God's and Man's physical appearances being equivalent? What if we cut out the physical attributes entirely? I mean, to begin with, why would God need a physical appearance anyway? What if this statement were about God and Man having the same spiritual essence? Like... a soul. Most religions would probably agree that the creation of souls is God's responsibility and no one else's. This whole disagreement hinges on the use of the word "image".

Christianity seems to be in some sort of search for ways in which God has touched the world and intervened somehow on otherwise flawless physical laws. They consider these to be miracles. They have tried to refute so many scientific explanations that would otherwise have everything happening in nature rather than in God's realm or by God's hand. I think they will have to consider that if God exists and He really did create the universe and everything in it then He is nature. He set these laws in motion for a reason. What good would it do if God made physical laws only to later break them when He found them inconvenient? Wouldn't that display some sort of fundamental double standard? Perhaps these people from the Discovery Institute should consider the possibility that the only time God ever "touched" the universe was at the first moment of the Big Bang. And that if the events which have happened since were according to His design then they must have followed some sort of physical law or process. Discovering, quantifying and documenting that process should stay in the realm of science.

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I've been distracted this past week. First, I've been very busy at work with a very important project for a very important client who feels it's important that nothing about the nature of his upcoming product be revealed. (Aside: do you think I stressed heavily enough the importance of the entire thing?) I spent all last week planning for this because it's a new type of testing that no one has done before. Very intense. Lots of pressure to get everything right the first time. Yadda yadda yadda...

Two other things have been taking up a lot of my time. Suzi (although she doesn't have a blog some of you may have read her comments here before) gave me a few videos last weekend expressing some controversial theories that oppose the theory of evolution. There has been an enormous amount of material to read on these topics and I've been trying to get it all down before I comment. Then, just yesterday, as if in concert with my previously mentioned research project, I ran across a link to a site describing ways in which the existence of dinosaurs might be a hoax. Interesting stuff. The author seems to have gone out of his way to ignore entire volumes of information to make his "case" against this "global conspiracy" that has consumed the planet. I realize that to bother to argue with people like this gives them some kind of validity that they don't really deserve. But I can't escape the thought that people may read this stuff and repeat it without ever bothering to link to Wikipedia to get information that's less clouded by the thought that the devil is controlling all of paleontology. More news as it develops.

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Announced just in this morning! Bob Dylan will be performing at Prospera Place here in Kelowna on July 22! Bob Dylan! In little Kelowna! A 20 minute walk from my house! Un-FUCKING-believable! The only act I can think of that could possibly top this would be the Rolling Stones. Tickets go on sale this Saturday. I have to find a way to make sure I get tickets. Time to call up the usual suspects and see what they can do for me.

Oh yeah. And Willie Nelson will also be here a few days before Bob Dylan. Something to do with the pair of them touring together.

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This is the a chain letter for blogs. I got tagged by Arklahomboy. Here goes.

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Total volume of music files on my computer: 15.9 GB

The last CD I bought: Linkin Park - Meteora.

What I'm listening to now: Dave Chappelle HBO Special - Killing Them Softly

Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me: A3 - Too Sick To Pray, Eminem - Rabbit Run, Guns N' Roses - Locomotive, Faith No More - Falling To Pieces, and Headstones - Heart Of Darkness.

Five people I'm passing the baton to: Thomson, Marcel, Chloe, Ken, and Paul Loré.

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Got home from work today and admired the sunshine. Decided it would be a great day to break out the basketball for the season. Dug out my two basketballs. Searched for the air pump and the needle. Headed for the local school up the road. Pumped up both balls and checked them on the pavement for good bounce. It was an outside court at an elementary school and usually I would only use my Spalding for this sort of thing but today I elected for the Wilson because it felt right.

Ran for a bit, dribbling back and forth taking wild spin-around jump shots, lay-ups and sailing-through-the-air hook shots to get warmed up. Noticed two things right away. The net was only about nine and a half feet high and my cardio conditioning is not what I usually expect of myself. After several minutes of shooting I noticed that my shot was as drastic as it's ever been. I lamented the lack of practice I've had the past few years and debated between the joys of merely playing at any skill level or being able to play well. Decided that I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I wasn't able to make at least a decent showing.

So, out came the basics. Slowing down. Focussing on form instead of speed. Noticed that good backspin had everything to do with my shooting percentage. Got down right under the hoop and started with one foot off-the-backboard shots first from the right side and then from the left. Didn't stop until I could do 20 in a row from each side without missing. Started again from 4-5 feet out. Alternating. Left, then right. 10 in off the backboard. 10 in without the backboard. 80% or better. No leaving till it's done. No jump on these shots. Limit the number of moving parts to keep the problem simple. Feet flat, no bend in the knees.

Moved to the top of the key. Slight bend but no jump. No sudden movements either. Kept telling myself that those flashy plays with the spin-around, plant-and-shoot jump shots look good. But they mean nothing if you don't score. Thought about all the games of one-on-one I've ever played and how important it was to be able to make those outside shots so that the opponent had to try to stop me from taking them. Began to think about the sounds around me. I felt like I was being conditioned in some Pavlovian way. Teeth gritting at the sound of the dull thud the ball makes when it bounces off the back of the hoop. A calm yet hungry sensation at the smooth sound of a "swish". Hungry for more. I told myself that I wouldn't let myself leave the top of the key until I could make 60% out of 20 shots from either side. I was fairly close when the wind picked up and the first drops of rain started falling. Thus ends the first day.

When I was in high school, the basketball coach had a poster on his door that read something like, "Right now somebody somewhere else is practicing. And when you meet him in head-to-head competition, he will beat you." I wanted to be that guy. I still want to be that guy. In my slow, plodding, mechanical way I may yet be that guy.

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Just finished voting. Signing forms due to lack of registration. Showing proof of identity and current address. The lineups weren't too bad. The process could have taken a lot longer if I hadn't correctly guessed the location of my polling station. Last night I experienced my first "Watson Family Pre-Election Phone Call". It's a tradition that my dad started some time ago with my sisters. He always worries that we won't "know how to vote". I guess I should translate. In my family, "knowing how to vote" means "making sure you're voting the same way as Dad". Not that anyone listens to him. I was tempted to give him some ridiculous answer so that we could argue the pros and cons of it. After all, there's no NHL hockey this year so we have to argue about something that's more or less out of our control. I enjoy our family bonding rituals.

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This had to happen. Three flights there and three flights back. I should've known that the Air Canada baggage handlers wouldn't be able to read the luggage tags correctly that many times in a row. Just got a call from them to co-ordinate delivery this afternoon. Hopefully they can get the address right.

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I work in a very narrow section of a very narrow field of engineering that exists exclusively in an effort to protect consumers from possible harm. I work with equipment that is very specialized for this purpose and is imported from a company in Switzerland. This company is run by a woman who is one of the pioneers in the field. When I first started working here I got the impression that this company couldn't be fully trusted. The co-worker who trained me for the position consistently questioned the judgement of the equipment manufacturer in all things. Often choosing to assume they were withholding the truth about something when it was more likely that he simply couldn't understand it. And I've seen this attitude from many people. Uneducated people saying that the educated ones have their heads up their asses for making some decision a certain way. It's sad.

Anyways, whenever I had a question about the equipment there was considerable consternation about my asking the manufacturer and I always got the impression that this was simply the result of a history of poor relations. Whenever anything seemed like it was not working right, the concensus was that the manufacturer had lied about the capabilities of the equipment but that telling them outright would be a fatal mistake. So whenever I emailed our equipment supplier (inevitably, this particular woman) I avoided sounding confrontational. Often I would get an abrupt reply that could have been interpreted as rudeness. I ignored this interpretation because I imagined that she must be a very busy person who merely didn't have time to send lengthy emails. Every once in a while I was given an education in something that I should have already known, something she hardly failed to point out. Over the course of many email discussions I have developed a strange sense of familiarity without actually knowing anything about her.

Sure, I had heard the usual rumours that follow people in her relative position of intelligence and authority like moldy cliches. The ego. The arguments. The insistence that she is right about everything. The hardest pill for people who towed these rumours about must have been the fact that she is right about everything. I finally met her in person this week. I made it clear from the first day that I wanted to sit down and ask her some technical questions and she promised to set aside some time. But then I neglected to take her up on this promise until Friday. I chose instead to use the other times I saw her as a reason to develop a friendly relationship. To me, that seemed more important than any of the technical stuff. Over three days I went from getting overlooked in the halls to getting noticed and smiled at when I passed by. To me, this was a victory.

On Friday, after all the presentations, we sat down for my questions. I pulled out everything I could think of and offered many suggestions for future upgrades. She explained everything in great detail and held nothing back on the assumption that I might not understand. We spoke frankly on many topics, although I didn't bring up her apparent email abruptness or my perception of the (hopefully former) chilly relationship between her and us. I kept her busy for an hour and a half and she didn't seem to mind a bit.

Today, as I was eating breakfast and waiting for my cab to show up, I was asked by the hotel staff if I would like to share the cost of my cab to the airport with someone. Of course, I said yes. Heading back to the lobby, who am I introduced to as my "cabmate"? None other than this particular Swiss woman. We had another good conversation in the cab, friendly talk mixed with some technical. All in all, a victory for my team, I think. I now have a thousand new ideas for how things should function back home. A thousand things to take up my time. A thousand things to keep me running at full tilt. A thousand new possibilities for the future.

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Nothing much to report. At least, nothing that would be interesting to people here. The first half of the day was boring as the Singapore and Taiwan Regulation Speakers worked their way through their material and answered questions with the help of interpreters. The second half of the day had some more interesting (and relevant) material but was dampened as I struggled with fatigue. All the interesting stuff happened when the laptops were put away and a group of us headed into town.

I was dismayed to learn that I wasn't in a small city outside of Washington as much as I was in a small city outside of Baltimore. Big dreams of seeing the monuments and sights were twisted into the thought of being stuck in an unremarkable city that doesn't even have an NHL team. I've since learned that Baltimore is quite a nice city. It has a beautiful harbour with street performers reminiscent, but not equalling that, of Victoria. I ate some cream of crab soup at a seafood restaurant and I bought a sweet bright red crab hat. And of course there was the standard photos with the Hooter's girls and all the shop talk to justify the evening as a "business expense." I was pleased to learn that the kind of testing I do every day gives me a special sort of celebrity in these circles. Most people here haven't even seen it happen, much less done it themselves. I was answering more questions than I was asking. It was a good feeling.

I'm exhausted. Now I'm gonna watch the Daily Show and pass out. Tomorrow is when all the real action begins. Wish me luck.

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Taking off in an airplane always gives me an incredibly powerful feeling. The rumble of the engines and the jerk of the plane as it starts to accelerate. 8 or 10 seconds of being pushed back in the seat until the nose picks up. For about a half a second the mystery of it fills me with an instinctual fear. Then I start reviewing the practical science behind the concept in my head. The shape of the wings. The engineering on the amount of thrust required by the engines to hold the plane in the air. This is my world. This is the place where my brain wants to live. I'm not in command of the plane. I didn't build it. I didn't perform any of the maintenance or routine evaluations. But I understand the thoughts of the people who did all of those things. And I trust this monstrous beast as it carries me upward.

Landing in Calgary brings a vision of wet pavement. We have to wait in the plane as they defrost some unseen part of the runway. Exiting the plane shows a windy, wet, snowy May blizzard. Calgary defies all logic. It's the most human city I know.

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The Airbus-320 from Calgary to Toronto was the scariest fucking flight I've ever been on. The takeoff was pretty standard. Impressive power. Mid-flight turbulence was mild but ominous. The landing was intense. I'm not sure those things are supposed to bounce like that when they land. I do know that a plane that size should not shake that much without a thorough search for loose parts. Unbelievable.

The in-flight entertainment was a movie called Coach Carter. Much of the setup and many of the lines were cliche. This movie, like the basketball players in it, has a rough exterior but contains a lot of heart. It mostly just reminded me of my time playing basketball on a team in high school and how much I wanted that feeling back. The only difference was that no one on my team believed in me the way the members of Coach Carter's team believe in each other. More proof that real life is not like the movies.

From the window of an airplane, Toronto is massive. I got myself so psyched out for passing US Customs that I'm sure I looked like a bumbling, nervous fool going through there. Maybe this will change with experience. We'll see how it is on the way back. Two shuttle busses and a 10-minute walk later puts me waiting for my next plane to board. Toronto's airport, like Toronto, is massive. And the hot dogs here suck.

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Toronto looks even more impressive from the window of an airplane at night. I know I'm not seeing any of the downtown sections because there are hardly any buildings above 6 stories and most of the landscape looks like an endless sheet of lighted neighbourhoods spattered with the occasional baseball field. The flight to BWI Airport was in a little Dash 8. The landing shook almost as badly as the previous landing in Toronto but I know these little planes are supposed to shake like this. It's normal. No biggie. Cab drivers in the US are much like the cab drivers in Canada in that they are not born on this continent. They are unlike the cab drivers in Canada in that they can still speak very good english. At least that's what I noticed in the cab lineup outside BWI.

Arriving at the hotel I notice that the front desk staff appear to be inept and subtly mindless. They have twice as many people as is strictly necessary to do any particular task but somehow they avoid constantly bumping into each other. They remind me of goldfish in an overly crowded tank. I am unable to access the internet with my laptop because the wireless service they provide will only accept a credit card as payment and they won't take my cash at the front desk. Perhaps tomorrow I'll solve this important problem. For now I will try to get to sleep because although it's midnight local time, it's really only 9:00 PM. Breakfast is served at 7:00 AM local time. Which means that I have to get up at 3:00 AM to make sure everything is perfect for my first day.

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This is my flight schedule for tomorrow.

Air Canada - 8396
Depart: 8:40 AM PST Ellison Field (YLW) Kelowna
Arrive: 10:53 AM MST Calgary Intl Airport (YYC)

Air Canada - 128
Depart: 1:15 PM MST Calgary Intl Airport (YYC)
Arrive: 7:00PM EST Lester B Pearson Intl (YYZ)

Air Canada - 7936
Depart: 8:40 PM EST Lester B Pearson Intl (YYZ)
Arrive: 10:25 PM EST Baltimore Washington Intl Arpt (BWI)

If you hear about any of these flights in the news tomorrow then you'll know what to do. Not that I expect a problem. Statistically, flying is safer than driving. Especially if you're driving with me. God only knows why there are no direct flights from Calgary to Washington or Kelowna to Toronto. Someone at Air Canada is chuckling softly at the thought of my travel schedule. If I have the opportunity to blog while I'm there I'll publish my return schedule before I leave.

So, my luggage is packed. I checked my clothes three times to make sure I won't have any unexpected surprises. I have copies of all the major standards downloaded to my laptop and uploaded to my Gmail account, just in case. I have read (almost) everything I was supposed to read before I attend and I have my instructions on who to try taking to dinner while I'm there. I've always been a little uneasy about palm-greasing, but I am going to be in DC so I might want to get used to the idea. Who knows, maybe I'll see George W walking his dog and I'll get to ask him why he avoided Canada until his second term.

For now, I'm going to take a break from all the excitement. And by taking a break I mean that I'll be up half the night reading about intelligent design, irreducible complexity and the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics. You kids play nice while I'm gone.

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I met the new upstairs tenant the other day. As I mentioned previously (and as he reminded me, twice in 5 minutes!) his name is Spencer, too. That has got to be the most annoying thing about other guys named Spencer. Always reminding other guys named Spencer that they're not so unique. That was the first day he was here. Haven't seen very much of him since then.

Landlady just told me that she tossed my designation doppelganger out on the street on his second day in the house. Turns out he's on probation for some kind of sexual offense or other that he failed to mention earlier and she wasn't cool with that. I already provided a link to the Highlander movie on IMDB the last time I talked about this so this time I'm providing some... different links that might get the point across.

University of Keele Science Fiction and Fantasy Society

Home of the Smokin' Pen

Random Reference to The Highlander on another blog.

Marilyn Manson Vs Alice Cooper

HIGHLANDER The Immortals' Celtic Art

Enjoy.

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She cries out in a darkened room. She only has the courage to speak when she knows no one can hear her. A lament in the night. Likely from frustration rather than despair. The former comes from examining her past whereas the latter is a product of her future outlook. Loneliness persists in a world full of people. I want to reach out but I realize that I cannot. I am incapable of making her happy. It's not just geography. It's our unique visions of the future.

Loneliness is an epidemic that has no prescribed solution. There is a certain magic in togetherness that cannot be replaced by video games or internet porn. It's a project that can never be completed. It frustrates even the most patient and understanding hearts. It is mocked by the shallow. It makes the strong feel like weak and vulnerable children and it makes the weak feel like indestructible giants.

She wants to swim freely in the waters of responsible adventure. She wants to leave everyone she knows behind so she can come back to them with new stories to tell. Her soul contains a persistent youthfulness that cannot be faked for more than a few hours without succumbing to total exhaustion. She is unbound by society's rules and expectations and shuns all attempts at shacklement. She doesn't need anyone but her want is more powerful than she gets credit for. She wants someone who can keep up and who doesn't expect her to change. Relatively simple goals until you see how fast and radically different she really is. She is unsatisfied with only one place and one time, preferring rather to be every place there is at as many times as possible. Her dreams are large and she wants to live them larger. She wants to feel everyone and have everyone feel her.

As if in direct opposition, I want to build a structure to challenge impermanence. A monument for time to tear down in its creeping, patient and irresistible way. I don't hate the ever-changing ways of the universe or think that I can resist them. I respect these forces enough to dare to live on in my own way in spite of them. Someday I hope to see the places that I've only read about in books and stories. Someday I hope to see the other cultures of the world untouched by my own influence the way a scientist wishes to view a universal phenomenon. But that day is not today. I'm not a wandering soul. I have a place I call home, even if it's not a specific house or property. No matter how far I travel my heart will always make me come back to this place even after all the people have gone away. The clarity of my memories has assured that. Perhaps once I travel I will see enough of the world to be able to call the entire place my home. Until then I am bound by my own pride.

We two are different people, each with noble goals. She and I both lament her loneliness. But of the two of us only she is in a position to do something about it. Though our lives have crossed paths, they will not converge here but rather carry on in our original directions. At the intersection is a signpost directing weary travellers on the darkest nights. May we all yet find warmth and solace.

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I've been thinking a lot about religion lately. Partly due to the recurrence of an old friend of mine but also because so many human concepts either start or end with the religious question. Is there a God? To me, there are two kinds of religion. The first is just a thought in the back of your head. It's definitely a belief but it never needs to be written down or articulated anywhere in order to exist. It's simply there all the time like a natural law. The second is organized religion with churches and hierarchies and people (usually men, these days) "interpreting" God's will for the masses.

I've always been put off by the only organized religion I've ever known, Christianity. That is to say that I've been put off by its current incarnation. I've never had a problem with believing in God. I've only had a problem with reconciling the God I have seen and experienced with the God I've been told about by Christianity. There is a question that has always plagued me and kept me from participating in organized religion.

Would God still exist if I didn't believe in Him? There are only two answers. If God still exists even if I don't believe in him then it follows that he would still exist even if none of the Christians believed in Him. The "yes" answer leads to a disturbing conclusion by removing faith from the equation. It would make God a force of nature and a natural fact of the universe. Much the same way that gravity still holds the Earth in orbit around the Sun even if you don't believe in it. If faith is not required for God's existence then why is it so important? Why would God care that His word in the form of a simple book not be misinterpreted? What would it matter that humans be made in His image or that humans be the greatest of all His creations if faith were not required? Why would the direction of the church's teachings matter? Who's to say that this direction hasn't already differed so far from its original intent as to be unrecognizable? Why would it matter that we call Him Jesus as opposed to Muhammed or Buddha or any other number of likely suspects? Clearly, "yes" is a terrible answer to this question.

But what about answering with "no"? If God would cease to exist when every human failed to have faith in Him then what would that mean? Would it be possible to defeat Him by simply not believing in Him? Would "hell" still exist if you didn't have faith in God? Could we escape His supposedly inevitable judgement by not believing in Him? If everyone stopped believing in God and He subsequently ceased to exist, and then at a later time some people started believing in Him again, would He then start to exist exist? Could God be discontinuous in time that way? If this kind of relation really existed, could other deities also exist if other people believed in them? Is there room for more than one deity? Clearly "no" is also a terrible answer to this question.

Organized religions usually try to acheive some kind of accord amongst the people. The idea is that if everyone in a certain area lived by a certain set of well thought out rules then human co-existence in peace should be possible. It seems to me that the problem starts when people look past their own area into a different area and see that other people outside their religion's influence are not living the same way or obeying the same rules as them. Perhaps religion is one of the principles in a neverending battle between conformity and individuality. People have to believe that their way is the best way for everyone or they wouldn't participate. This conviction can be deadly when combined with testosterone.

Many, many wars have been fought over religious values, ever since the first of human civilizations sprouted up in the Middle East thousands of years ago. People claiming that their god could kick some other god's ass and then go to war to prove it. People dragging huge statues from ransacked cities to place the opposing people's "god" on a lower peg than their own. Muslims rampaging across North Africa and into Southeast Asia to spread the word of Muhammed at the point of a sword. Christians planning crusades halfway across the known world to slaughter Muslims and protect a simple lump of rock known commonly as Jerusalem. Were these justified actions? Did the gods in question really want these things to happen? Did the people who died in these campaigns really deserve their fate for believing in a god of a different name?

I've been looking at the negative aspects of religion thus far. But what about the positives? The unfettered, unfiltered, un"interpreted" teachings of Jesus are a thing of wonder. They were revolutionary for their time and are still very relevant today. Forgiveness feels so good that I can't believe I couldn't see it for so many years. Revenge will make the one opposing the monster become like the monster he opposes. Hatred is the abyss that stares back at you. These are concepts that have been refined and re-worded so many times throughout the ages that it's no wonder Christianity has lasted so long.

Would God still exist if I didn't believe in him? I could attempt to use this double-bladed question to erode people's confidence in Christianity. But I realize that it wouldn't do any good. The only purpose would be to oppose certain people who use religion to manipulate the masses. Eroding faith in God would not stop them for they are not doing what they do in the name of God. They are doing what they do for their own purposes and claiming that it's in the name of God. Removing organized religion would not stop them, it would only take away one tool. And it would remove some of the fundamentally good parts of society. To counter this manipulation the Christians themselves would have to oppose the manipulators. In this manner we could separate the tool from the carpenter. After all, the gun enthusiasts are right when they say that guns don't kill people, people do. More on that topic later.

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These words were heard moments ago on King of the Hill.

Nancy (yelling): Bill! Get out of the tub! We're going to steal a news van!
Bill (disembodies voice yelling from another room): It's the perfect crime! How will they ever report it?

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