Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Hypothetical meets Reality
If the world were going to end in one week's time, what would you do? Would you spend your last week trying to fulfill your wildest fantasies? Or would you try to prevent the inevitable end? Would you give in to the hopelessness of it and try to go out with a smile on your face? Or would the act of trying to save yourself give you hope? Perhaps the question is too extreme. Too hypothetical to be taken seriously. So let's bring it home just a little.
Let's say that there's an election coming up in one week. And there are people taking polls trying to pre-determine the outcome. And they spout off a bunch of mathematical mumbo-jumbo about how their polls are 98% accurate 19 times out of 20 or some other such thing. And then after all that they tell you that the political party you would like to see elected is way down in popularity. Would this affect your vote? Compare this answer with the above answer.
Then let's say that the election comes and as the result shows the pollsters were all way out to lunch. Does this say something about polls affecting the electorate? What if voter turnout for the election was at an all-time low? Would this say something about voters feeling helpless about the possibility of their vote making a difference? Do you believe in a self-fulfilling prophecy?
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Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Dan and Kristy (especially Kristy)
My roommates are special people. Kristy is has the dirtiest mind and Dan is the most tired person I know. Here's an excerpt of life in our home from last night:
Dan and Kristy are sprawled out on the couch effectively occupying it with their heads resting on opposite sides. I walk in with a plate of food to watch the election results. At first they don't move so I stop dead in my tracks and stare at them expectantly. They begin jostling for position in some strange kind of contest to see who's going to have to get up to give me room and who gets to stay lying down. In the end Dan sits up and I sit down next to him.
Me: "You know, a couch is a lot like an election. There are only so many seats and when a new person wants one then one of the others has to give up some space."
Kristy: "I don't know about all that but I could use a few more ridings.... Actually a lot more ridings."
Me: "Jesus Christ. I'm eating here. Do you mind?"
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Sunday, June 27, 2004
Stupid Punks who don't know how to Mosh
The evolution of the concert phenomenon known as the "mosh" is fairly easy to trace. A large group of people who all want to get to the front to get a better view of the band typically tend to crowd each other and ignore all previously defined personal space rules. When the music has a good beat and you want to dance and move and show your energy and appreciation, the only movement you really have in an overly crowded space is to bounce up and down. When you get 50 or more people in one area all bouncing up and down in extremely close quarters they inevitably start to bump up against one another. Clearly, this is where the mosh originated.
Men have a lot of testosterone and with that comes a need to at least be lord of their own personal space. No guy likes to get pushed around. So, soon after the bouncing started, guys would start to bump each other for space and superiority. This all started as a fun game. There was always the worry that someone would fall down and get trampled but typically other people will help you up if you fall so this isn't really an issue. There is nothing wrong with blowing off a little steam at an intense rock and roll show but lowering your shoulder into the lowered shoulder of another willing participant. This moshing thing is much like the big-horn sheep that charge each other and clash horns.
The problem starts when you get some guys who want to start shit. They are not in tune with the spirit of the exercise. These punks pick specific targets that aren't in the mosh and run into them repeatedly from behind to aggravate them. And when the person (usually a guy) turns around to tell them off they say that if he can't handle it he should move away form the mosh. And then if the guy being pushed gets more aggressive the punks will try to fight him. And if a third party (like me) gets involved and tells the punks to fuck off and stop starting shit they exclaim emphatically that it's the other guy who started it and they're "just trying to have a good time, man."
And then they drive people away from the mosh and create a wide open area in the middle of the floor where they can get a run at each other instead of just the bouncing and bumping that's supposed to happen in the mosh. They stop hitting each other with their shoulders and start manually pushing people with both hands extended. Grabbing shirts and pulling people. Hitting people full force from behind. Flailing wildly with limbs going in all directions so that they will "accidentally" hit passersby with fists and feet. This is not a mosh. I don't know what to call it but it is not a mosh.
And to top it all off, there are the drunken folk who don't understand what's going on around them and end up starting fights at these shows. Guys getting smashed in the face when they can't see their attacker or properly defend themselves. Guys losing teeth and getting body jewelry ripped out. Incomprehendingly lashing back at the wrong assailant to cause more strife for otherwise innocent concertgoers. Thankfully there were fairly few of these incidents at this show and the security people took care of it pretty quickly.
And the last part of this rant is about the people who go to concerts, stand in the crowd and boo the person on stage. If you don't like the band or the music, fuck off. If the band you thought should have top billing got ousted by another band that you don't like, leave at the end of the show you came to see. If you think the opening act sucks, go stand in the lineup for beer instead of standing in the crowd. There is no reason why a band should have stuff thrown at them onstage. There is no reason why a band should be booed. If you don't like them then you don't have to go to the show. Period.
With that said, I had a really great time in the mosh that was a mosh. Heard a really great band that I'd never heard of before and had a really great time watching Dustin get groped (no, molested) by a cougar. Watching Patrick get so looped that he started losing functionality. Quote from him: "I'm going to start going to the gym again and then get a blackbeltandkickyourass." So, yeah, a good time was had by all.
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Public Service Announcement
Paranoia is the feeling that some other force has nefarious intentions with you. It could be a shadow government trying to control the population as a whole and not you specifically. Or it could be a specific person who intends to do something to you specifically. Notice that nowhere in the definition does it say that these feelings are unfounded, false, exaggerated or imaginary. Also note that this is a "feeling" of nefarious intentions, not "knowledge" of nefarious intentions. The paranoid feeling could very easily come from the knowledge that someone is after you. But usually when we are aware of certain danger the feeling is called caution.
The US government claims that it is being cautious. The citizens of the US are encouraged to also be cautious. Maybe the government really knows of specific dangers to its citizens and therefore its actions can be called caution. But I'm quite sure the average joe in the states is paranoid. It's very important to make the distinction between the two. If the citizens were just being cautious then they would be getting prepared for a lot more than just terrorist attacks. But they're not. They are totally distracted from other possible threats. And it is clearly the US government that is encouraging them to act in this manner. Is it being done on purpose? And if it is, what purpose could be behind it exactly?
There has been a lot of talk lately, especially in Canada, about "responsible government". It's a catch-phrase that political candidates throw around. Each party claims that it will form a "responsible government" while simultaneously claiming that none of the other parties will. So let's talk a little bit about responsibility.
Responsibility is about admitting your mistakes, admitting when you are wrong, and admitting that you meant something when you implied it. I have seen none of the candidates do this. Not one. Each party has worked hard to string up the competition on statements they have made in the past that hindsight has proven as the wrong thing to say. But when confronted with it, none of the party leaders have 'fessed up. All we hear is denial and twisted meaning, not responsibility.
Responsibility is about taking charge of a situation. This is also a rare occurrence lately. Most politicians are afraid to take a stand on any one issue or crisis because they might be made to stick by their word and take responsibility for their actions. They make statements that slide off the truth, not quite touching it with colour only giving it an opaque and distorted view. They approach problems with a desire to undo them at a moments notice. Like a landing party that tries to keep one foot on the boat so it can get back on if the invasion isn't going well.
I don't believe any candidates in this Canadian election will form a responsible government. Therefore, I would like to officially announce my intention to run in a future federal election as an independent. I'm not going to say for sure that it will be the next election because they may have another vote within a year or so. Most people I've talked to are more confused when they try to be informed than when they don't. And I believe that the people I know are good enough to deserve better.
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Thursday, June 24, 2004
Gonads and Strife
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
The Green Party
It seems a strange thing that we have a Green Party here in Canada. It seems about as communist as any party could be. They have a lot of support here in BC, probably mostly on Vancouver Island. The time I spent at UVIC reminds me that any political opinion is possible there in abundance. The Green Party has never won a seat in the federal election, or any provincial election that I know of. But some polls have shown that almost 12% of BC voters support it. Amazing. I guess people are so fed up with everyone else that they will consider voting for anybody. I think Canada will be an interesting place if they get any seats in this election.
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The Bloc Quebecois
It's difficult to deal with Quebec. They get more federal funding than any other province yet they're constantly unsatisfied with the way they are treated by the rest of Canada. And in a weird sort of way they are like Tibet. Conquered in a military action ages ago and now seeking peaceful sovereignty. China can use military force to keep Tibet in line but we are forced by our own policies to seek a diplomatic solution. And furthermore, is it right for us to encourage Tibet to seek sovereignty while encouraging Quebec to keep Canada whole?
Through a misguided setup in the Canadian federal electoral system it's possible for the Bloc Quebecois to only run candidates in Quebec and still get enough seats to become the Opposition party. I think the whole system needs to be updated. The riding map needs to be scrapped and a new one made up to more accurately reflect the actual population distribution in Canada. So what if the maritime provinces will get fewer seats that way. There are fewer people out there because they all moved to Alberta. And Quebec should get only as many seats as they deserve. And with that they should only get as much federal money as they deserve too. Start treating them more like the West and see how they like it.
The Bloc Quebecois takes all the heat for Quebec's unhappiness issues because they're the ones who have been encouraging it all these years for their own political motives. They're like cigarettes, causing the same stress that they appear to relieve and providing a liberating notion that is addictive to their supporters. If you asked anyone under 30 in BC or Alberta if they should split from the rest of Canada and form their own country chances are you'll hear an enthusiastic yes. The only difference between the western provinces and Quebec is that we would end up with more of our own money back if we left whereas Quebec would get less money.
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The NDP
Most people in BC can't say those three letters in sequence without feeling a bad taste in their mouths. For ten years the rest of Canada (especially next-door Alberta) and the US (especially California just a little to the south) thrived with a BOOMING economy while BC (possibly the richest in natural resources) lagged behind. If their federal policies are anything like their provincial policies then the quickest way to sink Canada would be to put them in charge. It's very difficult to give them a fair start after all we've seen here in BC. This is not like the people of Ontario whining about the provincial Liberals raising Health Care premiums and making the federal Liberals pay for it. We suffered for TEN YEARS! To everyone who didn't make the effort to vote in that second election (this includes me), SHAME ON YOU.
Jack Layton is in a real tough spot right now. He can't win this election. He can't even hope for the official opposition. So he's stuck with trying to leech off the other two major parties' unpopularity to gain votes. But every time he tries to slag one he starts sounding a lot like the other. In many ways, he's suffering from the unpopularity of both parties. He would be a lot better off if he played his hand straight up. Make himself look so much like the Liberals that no one can tell the difference. Become the Liberals that are not the Liberals and he could snag a lot of unhappy voters who only want to switch parties, not ideologies. But right now slagging the Liberals is he biggest game in town. And I guess it would be harder to take part when you make yourself look so much like them. It would be like N'sync calling the Backstreet Boys and bunch of nancy-boys who can't sing. He shouldn't worry about misrepresenting himself to get elected, though, because that's all anybody else does anyways. People don't expect honesty from politicians anymore and they wouldn't know what to do if they got it.
In general, the NDP is pro-union. Unions used to do great things for people when the people were getting paid peanuts for 60-hour work weeks. But now most of the people don't really need unions. We have laws that prevent the type of mistreatment that happened during the industrial revolution. Unions have their purpose but I think most of that purpose has faded. Now most people who run unions aren't even the people who worked in the unions in the first place. Union leaders are greedier than the capitalists these days. What a crazy world we live in.
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The Conservative Party
This party is built on controversy. An amalgam of amalgams, there's really no saying what we will end up with if Steven Harper is elected. With the Liberals bogged down in the sponsorship thing, the obvious game plan for the Conservatives is to just shut the fuck up until after the election is over. There are a few extremists who have been unable to help themselves, though. This always happens when you mix integrity with hardline political motivations. You can almost respect a group of people who stick by their principles even when they are wildly unpopular. But respect is weird like that. No one cared about all the crazy stuff the Reform Party pulled when they were a relatively insignificant political power dividing up the Western vote. It's funny how no one remembers all those antics now. Like Darrell Stinson trying to start a fistfight in the middle of the House of Commons floor. But chances are that since it didn't happen in the last year or so no one will remember it on election day and he'll get re-elected. And so it is with the rest of the Conservative party. They weren't the last ones to screw up so they're currently more popular than anyone else. I pray for a society that has an attention span longer than the length of a sitcom.
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The Liberals
The only thing standing in the way of Paul Martin getting elected is the sponsorship scandal. So let's take a closer look.
Fact: A few hundred million dollars is unaccounted for, supposedly going to some advertising agencies for advertisements that they can't prove they ran. Some of the companies have "ties" to the Liberals.
Fact: The Auditor-General caught it as an accounting error and initially only brought up the issue looking for proper receipts.
Fact: The people who were supposed to keep the receipts failed to keep them and this is a crime. Probably under some taxation law or other. To date, no one has been arrested or held responsible for any wrongdoing.
Fact: The RCMP are not really involved. The questions have all been asked by a panel of politicians, none of whom are impartial, and, apparently, this is how this is always done. The panel in question seemed far more interested in implicating Paul Martin in the scandal than actually getting to the truth.
Fact: When the sponsorship scandal was first announced Paul Martin made several statements that he would get to the bottom of it before he called the election.
This whole thing is a bunch of bullshit. The Liberals are trying to disguise the fact that they were giving kickbacks to their corporate backers. Although the other party leaders keep bringing it up they also don't want too big a deal made of it because they will do the same thing when given the chance. They definitely don't want to bring up the two most obvious problems with this whole issue. First, that the investigation was handled by other politicians. I mean, are they working on some kind of mafia "we'll discipline our own" theory? Why weren't charges ever laid? Second, if Paul Martin really wanted to do something about it he would institute a way to police government officials who break these kinds of laws. They could hire a couple of lawyers and several dozen accountants, deputize them all, give them a reasonable budget and a few police officers to do the footwork. They could sit in an office just down the street from the Parliament Buildings and run spot checks on different government activities. And of course they would have the authority to prosecute government officials who slack off and don't pay attention to where they're spending taxpayer money or who ensnare themselves in conflicts of interest. The trick would be finding people for the job who would stay impartial. But it would still be better than trusting politicians on their word. Currently, there is no system for RCMP to investigate government agencies. They are barely funded and prepared enough to fight "real" crime nevermind strange money loopholes in government programs.
With that said, I think we can clearly say that, not only has the Liberal government cheated us, they have failed to make amends for it once they were caught redhanded. And there is currently nothing stopping them or someone else from doing it again. I personally believe that Paul Martin is the best person for Prime Minister. It's just too bad we'd have to put up with the rest of the cheating party just to have him.
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Friday, June 18, 2004
Gmail Candy
For some reason I've had "Candy" by the Presidents of the United States of America running through my head all morning.
And the devil she made sweet candy
Took six days and nights to dream
On the seventh day she rested
Woke up early and made ice cream
Now the devil she must be a dentist
With deep jawbreaker eyes
Red rope hair
Gum drop lips
Cotton candy thighs...
And then I found out about gmailswap.com. Apparently Gmail is the hottest thing going right now. If anyone wants an invite, just ask.
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Thursday, June 17, 2004
Free-flow thought
Get these fucking nervous, panicked suggestions out of my head. It makes me sick to see so many little kittens playing in the jungle. Too much sickness, not enough free time. Free money. Free speech. Free thought. Free hunger. Free world. Come any closer and I will rip you in two. This heart of mine can't take another beating. Grasp for the controls while the plane spirals toward the ground. Reach for destiny and all you'll get is your fate. Nice try. Here, have another piece of cake. It won't hurt you. It's good for you. Slip away in the delicious flavour. Slide to the back of your mind and shut down for a bit while I tinker. You should always turn the machinery off before looking inside. It's only safe. Safety is for children. Real people learn to live outside of fear. You can only die once. And chances are you will never remember it happening afterward. So why are you so afraid? Run away. Don't let the lunatic get to know you. Uncomfortable social situations are worse than death. Best to avoid them altogether. Avoid anyone who can hurt you. Avoid anyone who can know you. Avoid anyone who talks about disturbing things because it's not just fluff. Avoid anyone who makes you feel embarassed because they point out a truth that you don't want to admit to yourself. Run away from the feeling of loneliness inside. Hide in the crowd. Become one of many. Try to look like them. Talk like them. Think like them. Rewrite your history to erase the time you spent not being like them. Lie about your past. Make up stories. Exaggerate. Stretch the truth. Tweak facts so that the story you're telling flows better. Sleep with someone to drive the feelings away. But don't confide in them. Don't ever confide in the person you're sleeping with. It can only lead to trouble. Tell them it's only casual. Tell them you don't care what else they do. But keep a picture of them to show your friends. You wouldn't want other people to think you're a loner.
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Wednesday, June 16, 2004
The non-Dictionary Definition of a Friend
Wow. Dustin's a crazy blogger. I think he's doing a fair job of letting himself out.
A friend is really just a person who will a)listen to your problems and b)tell you about their problems. Oh yeah. And they have to do both a) and b) honestly otherwise it's no go. These are the only things two people need to be friends. And you'll notice once you run the numbers that by this definition there is no way one person could be a friend to another without the other being a friend back. Too many people look for just one of the two criteria and assume a friendship. And I am certainly no exception. While I have my share of friends I also have had, in the past, my share of acquaintances who I assumed were friends. But as time moves on it's always the true friends that are still around and the not-so-true ones that weed themselves out. I think that everybody must be more patient with everybody else in everything we do and the world will be a better place.
Now that your 2 minutes of sap is finished we return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
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Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Blah, blah, blah
So email is a very interesting thing, or at least it was at first. Great way to keep in touch with my friends, right? Until I started getting more bloody questionnaires than actual emails. Maybe my friends just have nothing to say. Who knows. Anyways, instead of emailing this I thought I'd just post it here for everyone to see. You can't tell, but I answered them in reverse order.
>1. What time did you get up? 5:30 AM
>2. If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be? Frank Herbert
>3. Gold or silver? Gold (does anybody answer silver to this question)
>4. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Return of the King
>5. What do you have for breakfast? Buttered bagel and shredded wheat
>6. Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with? N'Sync
>7. What/Who inspires you? The burning hunger in my gut
>8. What is your middle name? George
>9. Beach, city or country? Change country to jungle and I'm there
>10. Favorite ice cream? Neapolitan
>11. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn? Butter me up
>12. Favorite color? Blue
>13. What kind of vehicle do you drive? Truck dead. I walk now
>14. Favorite sandwich? Clubhouse
>15. What characteristic do you despise? Two-facedness
>16. Favorite flower? Daisy:)
>17. If you could go anywhere in the world on a vacation, where would it be? Canary Islands
>18. What color is your bath robe? Dark Green
>19. Favorite brand of clothing? I wore clothes once...
>20. Where would you like to retire? Mars
>21. Favorite day of the week? Hint: I work every day of the week
>22. What did you do for your last birthday? I worked
>23. Where were you born? Fort St. John, BC
>24. Favorite sport to watch? Hockey. I must watch it because I cannot play it.
>25. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? Refer to next question
>26. Person you expect to send it back first? I've rendered this question null and void. Ha ha [in annoying Nelson voice]
>27. What fabric detergent do you use? Dish Soap
>28. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi
>29. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Sleeping is a sickness that affects the young and old alike
>30. What is your shoe size? 10 and a half
>31. Do you have any pets? No. I used to have a very nice aloe vera plant named Nancy, though.
>32. Favorite alcoholic drink? Anthing with whisky
>33. What is your favorite TV show? FAMILY GUY!
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Monday, June 14, 2004
Upcoming Okanagan (Cool) Concert Listings
This first one looks good. I already have tickets for it.
OKANAGAN SPRING
PURE MUSIC FESTIVAL
WITH GREAT BIG SEA
AND FINGER ELEVEN
VERNON MULTIPLEX
JUNE 25-26 2004
Choose from General Admission Floor (No Chairs) or General Admission Bowl seating.
Line ups for each day as follows: Friday June 25:
Finger Eleven, Sloan, No Motiv, Stabilo & Red Fish.
Saturday June 26:
Great Big Sea, The Paperboys, Paul Hyde of the Payolas & Samsara
*** GENERAL ADMISSION ***
CA $53.50
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SUN VALLEY SPEEDWAY
54*40
WITH SPECIAL GUESTS
RAIN OR SHINE
GATES 1:30PM/SHOW 3:00PM
SUNDAY JULY 4 2004
Special Guest = High Holy Days
General Admission - Outdoors - Rain or Shine
*** GENERAL ADMISSION ***
CA $42.75
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This one would be very cool except for the HORRENDOUS price and the fact that it's NOT GENERAL ADMISSION:P Note to all promoters of outdoor concerts: If you're going to charge $65 - $85 plus the standard ticketmaster rape fee, make the seating general admission and give the crowd lots of extra bands before the main act. And maybe like a festival thing with lots of side stage stuff going on. Yes, we do feel strongly about this.
DEBORAH J CAMERON PRES
ROCK THE BLUFF
WITH ZZ TOP
WESTSIDE BLUFF - KELOWNA
SITE OPENS 6:00PM
THURSDAY JULY 8 2004
LEFT SECTION
CA $65.00 - CA $85.00
RIGHT SECTION
CA $65.00 - CA $85.00
LEFT-CENTRE SECTION
CA $65.00 - CA $85.00
RIGHT-CENTRE SECTION
CA $65.00 - CA $85.00
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This one looks better. Almost as if they took my advice before I ever wrote it. Evanescence isn't Tatu, but they'll do.
DEBORAH J CAMERON PRES
ROCK THE BLUFF
WITH EVANESCENCE
WESTSIDE BLUFF - KELOWNA
SITE OPENS 6:00PM
FRIDAY JULY 9 2004
OUTDOOR EVENT
RAIN OR SHINE
PRICE LEVEL 1=GEN ADMISSION PREMIUM ZONE
PRICE LEVEL 2=AREA BEHIND PREMIUM AREA
RESTRICTIONS: NO GLASS, VIDEO,
AUDIO, PETS, BICYCLES,CAMPFIRES,FIREWORKS,KNIVES,FIREARMS,FRISBEES,
UMBRELLAS,CHAIRS,COOLERS OR BULK FOOD.
CA $49.50 - CA $59.50
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And finally, because I'm a dork and a patriot I had to list this one. I'll understand if no one wants to join me but I'll probably still go if I can scrape together the moolah. It may be my last chance to see him because by next year he could certainly be dead. Who knows, maybe I can talk my dad into going with me. It'll be the only concert I ever drag him to.
ONE MAN - ONE COUNTRY
STOMPIN' TOM
IN CONCERT
KELOWNA COMMUNITY THEATRE
8:00 PM
SUNDAY JULY 18 2004
LEFT SECTION
CA $39.50
RIGHT SECTION
CA $39.50
CENTRE SECTION
CA $39.50
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All info listed here is courtesy of Ticketmaster. According to their all-knowing website every concert listed here still has seats available.
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The Storm
The sky growls at me and without thinking I growl back. If we don't cut it out someone's going to lose an eye this time. This is how we play. For keeps. You don't let anyone else take something from you without a fight and you don't bitch about it when you lose.
There's a storm brewing today. Can you feel it? Lightning strikes somewhere close by. You can tell because the thunder is more abrupt and disturbing. Putting people on the defensive. Nobody wants to be friendly or make eye contact in weather like this. People just keep their minds on what they're doing and worry about their families. No one makes any new friends on days like this. Whoever said the weather doesn't affect people's moods was either lying or misinformed. The truth is out there in the black clouds hanging low over the city.
Later on when it gets dark and the rain is coming down as hard as it ever will, when mortality is on everybody's minds, I'll be outside where the fight is the thickest. The section of the battleline that everyone else has given up for lost I'll be still defending. Still making my presence known. Still denying the world's ability to hurt me or make me suffer.
To never run away is one thing. But to go purposefully in the way is another. When everyone else seeks shelter I'll move away from it. When everyone else wants to be warm and dry I'll seek to endure the wrath of that which they run from. I will face my fears. And when I run out of those I will face what others fear. Nothing can break me and I only bend so far.
Inevitably, the storm will pass me by. Unable to make me cower or depart from my course it will give up and move on. This is the way it's been since the beginning. And since I've learned my youthful lessons this is how it will be until the day I can no longer stand. The storm rages outside. Will you join me?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Last night at approximately 9:45 PM near the corner of Richter and Sutherland in Kelowna a man in his seventies was attacked by two "youths". He tried to defend himself with his cane but was struck across the face with a skateboard and knocked unconscious. His name is Abe and he is my boss's father. He's doing okay today, a little shook up with a sore head but he's going to live. He didn't have his wallet with him so they took his watch.
I left work last night at approximately 9 PM and my normal route home takes me within 4 blocks of Richter and Sutherland. I briefly considered going to the Mac's Store last night which would have put me within two blocks but I changed my mind. Strange how these coincidences sometimes happen and other times fail to happen. I know as well as anyone that not every "youth" with a skateboard is a little punk who needs an asskicking. But from now on every time I'm in the area I'll be on the lookout for "youths" fitting that description.
Would I be justified in exacting "street justice" on these guys if I found them? Who would defend their right to a trial if we knew beyond a shadow of a doubt who it was? Does anyone really think the cops will catch these guys? All I really know is that I'm angry about this. Something must be done. And if the powers that be won't, who will?
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Saturday, June 12, 2004
Ugh
My brain is numb. I have thoughts but I can't blog about them because my brain can't just stick to one topic. Everytime I try to write about something intelligent I keep getting sidetracked by other intelligent things I want to write about. So I have 20 started blog posts that I will never finish because when I get back to them I'll have forgotten what I was thinking at the time. It's like the stagecoach driver is asleep and the lead horse just keeps running the team down random forks in the road at a full gallop. And I'm in the back wondering what the fuck's up with the driver because I'm pretty sure I paid for better service. Oh well. I guess the virtual world will have to wait one more day for enlightenment. I'm finished everything at work and I'm going home early (before 7 PM).
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Correction: There truly is no rest for the wicked. Just got off the phone with my boss. I will now be here until at least 8 PM. My dad told me yesterday that he wished he had enough money to hire me. But I know damn well that the kind of work he'd put me through would kill me faster than any of this...
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Thursday, June 10, 2004
Caffeine: Not Just A Good Idea Anymore
I screwed something up today. I made a mistake. It wasn't a very big mistake. No one lost any limbs. No equipment was damaged. But we lost 2 hours of test time. I lost 2 hours of test time. Not a lot considering how many hours I work in a week. There are these two little plexiglas spacers about as big as the end of my middle fingernail. The only difference between them is that one has a nub that's 5 mm longer than the nub on the other spacer. They're kept in the same small plastic re-sealable bag inside a case in the lab. And for two hours this morning I was using the wrong spacer for a test I was trying to perform.
Now, at first glance this seems like an insignificant error with a fairly small consequence attached to it. But we have checklists to try to avoid this kind of thing. So I should have seen the spacer mentioned on the checklist and known that the one I grabbed was the wrong one. But through some kind of Orwellian doublethink I actually believed that the spacer I was using was the right one for the job. I believed it so thoroughly that I could not figure out the problem for nearly 2 hours. In the end I had to ask Russ what he thought might be the problem and he spotted the wrong spacer right away.
We had a meeting to discuss what went wrong and how to prevent it from happening again. The meeting itself took nearly 20 minutes and the "solution" was more or less to just slow down and double-check everything. Even though I was quiet about the cause of the problem I knew immediately what it was. I'm tired. Not drowsy or sleepy but truly fatigued. I never make this mistake. Even though it's just a little thing and anyone could do it I never make this mistake. But there is no denying the fact that I made it today.
I'm full-body tired. I felt it last night before I even went to sleep. And this morning when I woke up it felt like I hadn't slept at all or dreamt anything. I'm tired enough that it's starting to affect my brain. Trying to move faster to keep the blood flowing will just make me clumsy. The hyperactive, amplified co-ordination of yesterday is gone. Therefore I have to be careful.
I'm going to have to stay a little later today than I normally would have to make up for the lost time this morning. The few hours I get to relax before sleep are getting cut out now to try to renew my energy. I feel like the crew on the ship from Around the World in 80 Days when they get no wind going across the Atlantic and they run out of coal so they start burning pieces of the boat to reach shore. I'm tearing down pieces of my personal life to fuel my work ethic.
Yesterday I said that luck was best used by those who are prepared for it. Well it works both ways. Bad luck hits hardest those people who are not prepared for it. There are people in the world who blame all their worldly troubles on bad luck. I'm always cautious of these people. They're the ones who always need to borrow a few dollars here and there to make up for somethingorother that they "couldn't have planned for". They're also the ones who always want sympathy for their lot in life. They feel that bad luck is like the man keeping them down and all they really needed was to get their lucky break at the right time. They see all the people who have done better than them as simply being luckier. They're willing to throw their own lives to chance and they will probably not hesitate to do the same with someone else's, namely mine.
If you rely on luck to take you places then you're inevitably going to stay right where you are. Waiting for your lucky break will get you nowhere in life. Luck is a commodity just like time and money and endurance. Working hard and/or smart will bring you more of each. Not working for it will get you just what you deserve.
This morning something started running out on me. Maybe it was luck or maybe endurance. But it's clear that I have to rethink my strategy because I can't afford any more mistakes. I won't be getting any days off to rest. Not this weekend. Not next week. And maybe not next weekend either. My plan doesn't have a contingency for lost time or failure so I'll have to be careful or my luck will run out.
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Wednesday, June 09, 2004
A relentless pursuit of life
I am relentless like some kind of nuclear-powered juggernaut. Starting slowly then picking up speed until nobody dares to step in my way. Performing the same tasks everyday, the cyclic nature of an engine pushing for more mileage. Working the system in my brain. Holding it like a delicate structure in my head. Never letting it drop from my consciousness. With every movement I make and every day that passes I re-examine its usefulness and efficiency, changing it and tweaking it when necessary.
Holding my momentum around me like a bubble moving through the universe. My own little atmosphere around my own little planet-space protecting me from the harsh, cold, lonely hazards of space-reality. I reach within for more strength to push out on the walls of my self-made momentum-sphere. Extend the range of my pseudo-telekinetic sense. Increase static charge as I hurtle through the universe.
Nothing can stop me today. And so nothing shall.
My hands reach to grasp almost before my brain gives the order. My body turns and my feet start walking before my brain has decided on the destination and worked out the right path to take. My brain hums with all the little details. Exactly how much pressure does it take to swing the door closed behind me without slamming? Exactly how far can I reach my foot outward as I swing my body around to leave so that I my foot doesn't crash into the wall but I still get the fastest response time from my body?
Every movement planned carefully in advance to place my body in proper position for the movement that immediately follows it. Every sequence of motions strategically mapped out in my head so that none of my limbs are motionless when they could be devoted to the overall effort. And whenever a section of my body is forced to not participate it either fidgets or gently sways to increase blood flow and ready itself for its next command.
Each day planned in advance with each movement known beforehand. Each moment conducted to help bring a positive outcome to each day. Each day worked to bring a more successful outcome to the day that follows it like an avalanche of preparedness and positive outlook. Each moment lived while savouring the succelent buzz of hyper-oxygenated blood rushing through my body.
Luck is best used by those who plan for it. Carpe Diem.
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Tuesday, June 08, 2004
The tasty taste of Dan's toothpaste
I'm a little depressed at the result of the Flames game last...
WE INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BLOG POST TO BRING YOU THIS FLASH NEWS UPDATE.
Patrick (aka Blugo) named as Keynote Speaker for meeting of Ball-lickers. According to eyewitness accounts, Patrick was excited about the opportunity to speak to such a large group of fellow ball-lickers. He said that "there's been a lot of ball-licking lately, but we've got a lot more yet to do." When asked about the first Ball-licker meeting he attended he had this to say:
"At first I was a little surprised at the number of women at the meeting because I thought it was gonna be just guys but then when it got to the show-and-tell part of the meeting it all kind of made sense."
In other news, the disproportionate number of Gemini bloggers has led some psycho-biologists to theorize that in the future all Geminis will be born Hermaphroditic. Film at 11.
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Monday, June 07, 2004
Yay Me!
I just googled myself to see if Google could find my blog yet. By just using my name my blog shows up 84th on the query results. Not bad. But even better than that is what else I found out about the name Spencer Watson. Spider-man (my favourite comic book character of all-time) is Peter Parker and is married to Mary Jane Watson who, in turn, has an uncle named Spencer. Thus Spencer Watson. Even better, Uncle Spencer. Therefore, I share the name with a (very) minor comic book character from my favourite comic. And here is a direct quote from the page:
"Peter and Mary Jane got married on the front steps of New York City's City Hall, with her uncle, Spencer Watson, a judge, presiding over the ceremony."
So, in a weird way, I could almost say that I MARRIED PETER AND MARY-JANE!
Sorry about that. Just had to get it out of my system. In case anyone's interested (or requires proof) the site I found this on was the Marvel Directory and it can be found here. It was the 12th page listed on Google when searching for "Spencer Watson".
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Sunday, June 06, 2004
The Oxygen is my Only Joy
Given the number of hours I put in at work vs the number of hours I spend at home, I'm surprised sometimes that I still remember what my house looks like. I'm willing to admit now that the crazy overtimes are starting to get to me. I'm becoming more robot-like in my real-life human interactions. I'm still witty, but I don't always laugh right away when others make jokes. It's like I'm a little less "on". Kind of like the woodsman who's been away from people for so long that their jerky and unpredictable movements make him edgy and overly cautious.
In addition, the lack of sleep I subject myself to most nights isn't helping. For some time now I've had trouble just sleeping. I need to be especially tired before my brain will finally give in and drift off. And the other problem is that when my stomach isn't full it's a definite showstopper. No more going to bed hungry for this cowboy. I save my large daily meal for just before bed. And lately this means two (2) large plates of whateveritis I'm eating that night. My appetite is the stuff of folklore already but I usually only take it out for special occasions. This day-to-day stuff is much more like a commitment than a casual thing.
Still, I'm unwilling to give in to the pressure my body is suffering for. I will soldier on to my last both because I need the extra money and because I want to be able to perform the incredible feats in life. Even the smallest measure of incredible is something I refuse to give up on. Maybe there's too much hair on my chest or something. I don't know.
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Friday, June 04, 2004
All blog and no play makes Patrick a dull boy
So, it appears that Patrick (read: Blugo) has started two (2) more blogs since his first. One co-authored by the aforementioned Ken, and another dedicated to the best coffee house in the whole damn world.
Patrick, which one of us is the Gemini? Which one of us is the one that's supposed to try to do everything at once and run in 6 different directions at the same time? Which one of us is supposed to go all gung-ho and overboard on some new thing? It's ME. I'm the fucking Gemini. You're the fucking Leo who sits back and acts "kingly" and tries to convince people that the court jester antics of the over-oxygenated Gemini are beneath him. Quit trying to steal my personality, bitch! Although the Bean 2 Cup blog does have a very cool pic of me and Jager that everyone should check out. And the other pics aren't half bad either. But that's not the point. It's my birthday. I'm the Gemini.
Done.
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Thursday, June 03, 2004
Decoy Heart
I will build a decoy heart and lure you to it. You will see me as a joyless man with a black lump in his chest. Sun Tzu says, "Never let your enemy see your true strength." Are you my enemy? Am I your enemy? Will you hide your true strength from me? Will you hide your heart from me?
The best way to hide something is to convince people to stop looking. The easiest way to get people to stop looking for something is to convince them that they've already found it. The best way to serve both of these functions is to lie believably. Tell people what they want or expect to hear and they'll leave you alone and stop asking questions. Stop prying.
Or is it better not to lie? Not to deceive. To reveal the true self within. With no protective barriers or shields or coverings. The naked truth can be found in the naked soul. But when one person parades themselves naked through a crowd of clothed people they get pointed at. Laughed at. Inevitably the naked person puts their clothes back on and acts like it was all a big joke. And they come up with the name "streaker" to describe this strange behaviour.
But I contend that streaking isn't about merely being naked in a public place. It's the subconscious desire of that person to expose themself. The person who has dutifully worked at being just like everybody else their whole life. The person who has done all the right things to keep everybody out. To keep people from prying. To keep them from knowing. The person who has built a shell for protection and is now identified only by the patterns on the outside of the shell instead of the inside where the thoughts and feelings happen.
If you're my friend and I'm your friend then why do you run away when I tell you how I feel? Is it because sticking around while I let everything out will display a piece of yourself you aren't comfortable showing? By stripping away the barriers on my own heart and doing away with the decoy I can show that everyone else is also only displaying a decoy heart. People don't want to notice because to point a finger at someone else would mean pointing a finger at themselves. When you stare into the abyss the abyss stares back.
You could not expose another person's false exterior with any credibility unless you first did away with your own. When the detective who takes bribes from Mafia dons and commits murder to cover his tracks finally solves a crime no one really believes that the person he's found is guilty. He would have to be a just person himself to administer justice on others.
The game of misdirection that everyone plays is called as civilised as clothing. To do otherwise is considered vulgar and primitive. So I will proudly display my decoy heart. Paint it with many pretty designs for all to admire. And all the while the instrument that throbs in my chest will weep its lonely lament.
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Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Chicken Soup for the Mexican's Soul
Ok, I want to tell the Blugo story now. There once was a Mexican named Alex. Since there are no words that rhyme with Alex the limerick stops here. He was in Canada (Vernon, specifically) for quite some time training to be a pilot. If the act of being a pirate is called piracy then why isn't the act of being a pilot called pilocy? (And this is where you say, "Fuck you and your funny, Spencer.")
Anyways, one night shortly after we met him he decided to teach us some Spanish. Since the first thing that everyone wants to know about a foreign language is the swear words pretty soon that's all we were learning. Eventually Alex brought up the word "gringo". We all thought that it was something to call white folk but he said that it's really only something to call Americans. And there's a reason.
It has to do with the Spanish American War. (Remember the Alamo?) No, this isn't some useless history lesson disguised as a cool story, I'm actually working towards a point here. The American troops apparently wore green even back then and just before they were about to charge, the Sargeant (or Lieutenant or whoever) would yell, "Green! Go!" And so the Mexicans started calling the Americans "gringo". A name which has survived to this very day.
Patrick, word-juggling meaning-flipping person that he is, started calling Alex "gringo", along with a bunch of other Spanish curses. This irritated Alex thoroughly. Not because the word was derogatory but because it was the wrong use of the derogatory slang. Nothing could stop Patrick, though, and this carried on until Alex left, about a year or so.
Meanwhile, there's something you should know about Patrick if you don't already. Patrick has gone to great lengths to associate himself with the colour blue. His car is blue, his favourite jacket is blue, he wears blue all the time and makes sure everyone notices. In fact, at one time, he claimed it as "his". He said that everything in the world that was the colour blue belonged to him in some way. A little farfetched but if you're not living on the edge then you're taking up too much space.
Sooooooo, when Alex left he asked me to associate Patrick with the name "Blugo" because gringo originally came from the colour green so deriving a similar name from Patrick's identifying colour seemed appropriate.
So let's all join in song...
Blugo, Blugo, do you know the Blugo?
Blugo, Blugo, everyone loves a Blugo....
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